Done:
It's been 8 months since I quit my job and proceeded to float through 6 months of perceived nothingness.

That's OK, I'm OK with nothingness, it's nothing to beat myself up over. It's been 2 months since I hit that wall and realized I wasn't ready yet, but refused to go back to any status quo that is the normativity of our mundane living lives. I cut way back on drinking, I stopped cutting altogether, I packed away my guitars and basses, and I've been reading fairly diligently and sitting at least twice a day with occassional break days since then.

I don't know what's next, but I need to get moving, stop procrastinating, commit. Yea, this is flawed, but I needed a drink this afternoon for the first time in who knows when in order to commit to a week in a monastery, starting this Friday.

I don't think this stint in a monastery is going to accomplish anything. I just want the imprint of the experience on my psyche. If I really thought monastic life is for me in this lifetime, I would have signed up for the required two weeks as preliminary. If things go incredibly well, I'll ask if I can spend another week there beyond what I signed up for.

If I go for just one week, I'll come back on October 31st and leave for New Jersey to return the car between November 5th and November 8th, after elections. I'll take my time across the country and expect to get to New Jersey mid-month-ish. Then maybe I'll fly back here before Thanksgiving.

Once I'm back here, then final decisions will need to be made. But there are too many things between now and then to project on them now. Hopefully I'll just be closer to the goal.