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(formerly 'temporary solution for a permanent problem')
about me:
This weblog is not being written to be read. It charts a mental decline and a relentless, often distracted, crawl towards an inevitable suicide, with sophomoric ruminations on religion from a Buddhist biased point of view, some armchair cosmology and astrophysics, monastic aspirations, unexceptional photography and other really, really, REALLY DEEP THOUGHTS that contradict themselves and aren't supposed to be watertight. Get off my back.
"With mind distracted, never thinking, 'Death is coming,'
To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
And then to come out empty - it is a tragic error.
Recognition of necessity is the holy teaching
So won't you live this divine truth from now on?"
These are the words of the great adepts.
If you don't put the Mentor's precept in your mind,
Won't you be the one who deceives yourself? - Bardo Thödol (root verses).
Tibetan Book of the Dead documentary
"With mind distracted, never thinking, 'Death is coming,'
To slave away on the pointless business of mundane life,
And then to come out empty - it is a tragic error.
Recognition of necessity is the holy teaching
So won't you live this divine truth from now on?"
These are the words of the great adepts.
If you don't put the Mentor's precept in your mind,
Won't you be the one who deceives yourself? - Bardo Thödol (root verses).
Tibetan Book of the Dead documentary
We are not human beings on a spiritual journey, we are spiritual beings on a human journey - Native American saying various attribution
other web presences
Blog Archive
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▼
2004
(185)
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▼
June
(20)
- Part of me feels wrecked. Part of me feels affirm...
- I'd like to be a story. Of a monk on the path. A...
- I'm not confused. Just conflicted, but not in a b...
- crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. Load of crap. It's...
- I wonder how many other people find the Tibetan Bo...
- Conflicted and confused now.The prospects of movin...
- I said I was conflicted. I am conflicted. That's...
- I've been so conflicted recently.If I feel any att...
- I can't wait until I'm out of San Francisco and ca...
- *sigh* Well, dammit, it's my blog, and I'm not cen...
- I reserved a Penske truck for June 30 since all th...
- Every day is a push-broom, pushing me to the next ...
- Path. New path. New path has to mean something. ...
- My leg still hurts from when I mentioned hurting i...
- The worst part of it is that I'm disappointed in m...
- self-loathing sets in.
- It's 5:30 in the morning, and I'm conceding failur...
- When I go out there next, I need to remember there...
- I've been thinking about what stopped me. I've be...
- Don't.Don't email me. Don't call me. Don't stop ...
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▼
June
(20)
other links:
Labels
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- Audrey (44)
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- consciousness time (25)
- cosmology astronomy physics universe (42)
- Craigs List suicide note (31)
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- cycling running (170)
- death (140)
- Deer Park (24)
- Delphine (9)
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- enlightenment (30)
- existential angst (98)
- family (165)
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- insomnia (94)
- isolation emptiness angst (102)
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- lists quizzes forwards memes (52)
- living life (78)
- love happiness (45)
- lyric quotes (125)
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- making music (60)
- meditation(s) visualization (114)
- memory lane (107)
- mental health medical (153)
- metaphor (54)
- mindfulness practice (136)
- mix CD (42)
- monastery (100)
- negativity (114)
- neurotic dysfunction (126)
- New Jersey days (66)
- Northern Exposure quote (36)
- observation perspective (99)
- paradigms personal theory (227)
- personal relations (158)
- personality insight (136)
- personality psychology identity (75)
- photography (397)
- politics race humanity (82)
- product review (11)
- quantum meta physics (41)
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- reads (58)
- reincarnation (59)
- religion (60)
- Ritu (14)
- rotten tomatoes (83)
- Sadie (28)
- San Francisco days (107)
- self-destruction (38)
- self-portrait (43)
- Shiho (7)
- sleep paralysis (4)
- suicide (311)
- surrealitivity (115)
- Taipei daily life (307)
- the big joke (39)
- the life cycle (42)
- the path (75)
- the story so far (24)
- Tibet (12)
- Tibetan Book of the Dead (61)
- travelogue (28)
- video (49)
- working (97)
- zen (10)
- Zohar (7)
full list of mix CDs of every year of my life, imbued with blessings
- 1969
- 1970
- 1971
- 1972
- 1973
- 1974
- 1975
- 1976
- 1977
- 1978
- 1979
- 1980
- 1981
- 1982
- 1983
- 1984
- 1985
- 1986
- 1987
- 1988
- 1989
- 1990
- 1991
- 1992
- 1993
- 1994
- 1995
- 1996
- 1997
- 1998
- 1999
- 2000
- 2001
- 2002
- 2003
- 2004
- 2005
- 2006
- 2007
- 2008
- 2009
- 2010
- 2011
- 2012, part one
- 2012, part two
- 2013, part one
- 2013, part two
- 2014, part one
- 2014, part two
- 2015, part one
- 2015, part two
- 2016, part one
- 2016, part two
- 2017 part one
- 2017 part two
- 2018 part 1
- 2018 part 2
- 2019 part 1
- 2019 part 2
- 2020 part 1
- 2020/21 part 2
Desert Island Discs
- Kansas - Two For the Show
- Genesis - The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway
- Tom Waits - Frank's Wild Years
- Ringo Shiina - Karuki Zamen Kuri No Hana
- Tizzy Bac - 我想你会变成这样都是我害的
- Throwing Muses - Limbo
- Versus - Two Cents Plus Tax
- Modest Mouse - The Lonesome Crowded West
- Marillion - Clutching At Straws
- Southern All-Stars - Umino Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!
reading list
- Confusion Arises as Wisdom - Ringu Tulku
- Dakini's Warm Breath - Judith Simmer-Brown
- Secret of the Vajra World - Reginald Ray
- The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying - Sogyal Rinpoche
- The Essential Zohar: The Source of Kabbalistic Wisdom - Rav P.S. Berg
- The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupery
- Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind - Shunryu Suzuki
- Mountain Record of Zen Talks - John Daido Loori
- Illusions - Richard Bach
- The Conference of the Birds - Farid ud-Din Attar
- Heart Wood from the Bodhi Tree - Buddhadasa Bhikkhu
- The Character of Rain (The Metaphysics of Tubes) - Amelie Nothomb
