I'm so pathetic. I'm the laughing stock of the suicide community and all my acquaintances and peers. I have zero credibility. I can say I'm gonna commit suicide high and low, right and left, far and wide and no big deal. No one's gonna believe me. No one should believe me.

I can start talking about it freely as an expression of what's on my mind. If I'm talking about doing it in the future, I'm not doing it right now. If I'm not doing it right now, I'm not doing it. No worries, it's not gonna happen.

I'm currently eyeing several days. I'm thinking this weekend or next weekend, leaning towards next weekend when high tide occurs after sunset. This weekend if I just say fuck it and manage to align the future with right now. Keeping an eye on wind conditions for practical reasons. Oh, and also check if Saturn is rising in Gemini. Mind you, shit like this has been going on for weeks and months and years and years and years and years and years.

So I'm finally gonna kill myself. Come on, folks, laugh it up with me. Laugh hard, it's a long ways to the bank. I can't be blamed for nothing anymore. It's been a long time since you've been around. Laugh hard, it's a long way to the bank.

Laugh at the hoaxter. I'm a suicide thinking about tides and winds and what I'm gonna wear for Critical Mass next Friday, giving notice on my apartment, and calling in for jury duty. Fuck all the cryptic bullshit I've been pos(t)ing. Let's start tracing the nooks and crannies of how I'm gonna fail to commit suicide.

It's not even worth starting a pool.