I'm trying to wrestle back control of this weblog. Every time I look at the posting page, negativity creeps up, blocks, and forces my vision into the tunnel. I didn't need to live through April. What did I do in April for the benefit of whom in April that made April worth living through? Is May going to be more of the same?

I think I've come as close to my own personal theory of everything as I'm willing to. I think it's good for everyone to have a personal theory of everything, ponder the unponderables, tange the intangibles. Instead of being like a goldfish thrown into a river and being swept where the current wishes, never questioning water, memory lasting the whole of 8 seconds.

No, I don't have any answers. Not for anyone else, at least. Just for myself. And I do think I am where I am for a reason, so it doesn't matter that I didn't need to live through April. The fact is that I did. If I live through May the same way, something is still going on. If I don't, what can I say?