I can fake being cheery and optimistic for a while. Way back when, in the worst of times, I would smile just to see if I could still smile. If I could still smile then I knew that I hadn't lost yet. I was always able to. And this isn't at all as bad is was back then, this isn't bad at all. Even though the smile comes off more as a smirk now.

I'm only alcoholic in regard to volume and habit. In regard to having a problem with it or being dependent, I'm not alcoholic. It wasn't very long ago that I could have stopped with little effort. If I was motivated to stop now, I realize it would require focus and concentration, but I'm still confident I could still stop with little fanfare. I have other behaviors that would be harder to quit.